MINIONS (2015)

Man, I love these little hellraisers; could only imagine the trouble they'd get into with their own film.  Sure enough, Minions begins chronicling the origins of these yellow buggers - from earth's beginnings, going up to 1968 New York City - and how, with each new evil master they come to serve, their over-anxious efforts to please cause said master serious trouble.  Finally making their home in an ice cave, minions Kevin, Bob and Stuart decide to break from the pack and seek out a new evil master to serve ... which they find in NYC via Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock), whose new plan involves stealing the Queen of England's crown.  But things don't go off as planned (naturally), and indeed Bob ends up King of England - a plot twist even Overkill hadn't foreseen.  While the film is really funny and completely alive whenever minions are on-screen, somehow it left me feeling a bit let down (Scarlet is a pretty weak villain, as well).  Like it could have been so much more - packed so much more an "oomph" than it did - even though the ending tied things up sweetly. (rated PG)  B

MR. HOLMES (2015)

Wasn't sure about this one, upon seeing the trailer (it seemed a huge downer of a film), but my love for both Sherlock Holmes and Ian McKellen pulled me in ... to what ended up being a moving, ,beautifully-acted drama, set in 1947, about a retired Sherlock Holmes, living in the countryside of Sussex with his housekeeper and her young son, who thirty years after it happened still reels from the effects of his last case - even as his failing memory refuses to allow him to remember why.  McKellen is incredible, the film leaping back and forth in time even as, in present day, Holmes forms a friendship with Roger, his housekeeper's young son (Milo Parker), who may be the key to helping him remember.  Simple, elegant, and quite moving, thanks to McKellen's understated performance and a remarkable cast, Mr. Holmes was a surprise - and a worthy addition to the Holmes canon that depicts the character in an entirely real, wonderfully vulnerable new light. (rated PG)  A-

TALES OF HALLOWEEN (2015)

When you compact ten short films about Halloween into just over an hour and a half's running time, you can expect the films themselves to be hit and miss.  That said, Tales of Halloween, from the beginning, felt like putting on your favorite set of pajamas and watching episodes of "Creepshow" or "Tales from the Darkside" as a kid - though with the gore factor ratcheted up.  Ghosts, ghouls, the devil, serial killers, witches, evil children, vengeful demons, and wonderful cameos from Lombardo Boyar to Barry Bostwick, Greg Grunberg (in full Big Ass Spider! uniform) to Sam Witwer, Booboo Stewart to John Landis, Lin Shaye to the late, great Ben Woolf to some sexy-wicked narration by Adrienne Barbeau, even with a few clunkers there is just something wonderful about the whole package of evil little short films here, it all feels somehow both nostalgic yet fresh at the same time.  So much so, am kind of hoping they'll produce another next Halloween. (rated R)  B+

THEY MET IN BOMBAY (1941)

Gerald Meldrick (Clark Gable) is a long-term professional jewel thief at the height of his career when he arrives in India, posing as an insurance inspector with Lloyd's of London as he prepares to steal a priceless necklace.  What he doesn't count on is a baroness staying in the same hotel, whose real name is Anya Von Duren (Rosalind Russell), a con artist who manages to get her hands on the necklace first.  When Gerald finesses the necklace from Anya, in the guise of a cop, she goes after him - and the two end up running from the authorities together, buying passage on a Chinese steamer, on the way to Hong Kong, led by Captain Chang (Peter Lorre) ... on the eve of Japan's invasion of China.  Light romantic comedy made worth watching by its cast, otherwise a stock story with no surprises, even though Gable and Russell make it fun. (not rated)  B-

INSIDE OUT (2015)

Of all the positive adjectives you could ever use to describe a Pixar film - and there are many, as their best films hold up both over time and to any live-action film ever made - the one I never considered was profound.  But that word best describes what I took away from Inside Out, a near-perfect film about a tween named Riley, relocating with her parents from Minnesota to San Francisco, who literally finds her inner emotions - Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust - in turmoil when Joy and Sadness are accidentally thrust from Headquarters and into the deep recesses of Riley's conflicted mind ... where, in their absence, things begin to go wrong.  Mixing laughs and tears in equally potent measure, kids will love Inside Out ... but it's the adults who will "get" the on-target way the film captures humanity/the human psyche in all its imperfections and glory.  It's hard to express the beauty, originality, and depth of this brilliant film in such a short, no-spoiler space, except to say it simply: SEE THIS MOVIE. (rated PG)  A+

THE VISIT (2015)

The Visit is the story of teenager Becca (Olivia DeJonge) and her young brother Tyler (Ed Oxenbould), who have never met their estranged grandparents as their widowed mom (Kathryn Hahn) moved out of her house in anger long before they were born, over wanting to marry their father.  But the grandparents have reached out online to their only daughter, who begrudgingly puts her kids on a train to the country for a week, at the kids' insistence (especially Becca, who's filming a documentary about their family), to meet their grandparents.  But Nana (Deanna Dunagan) and Pop Pop (Peter McRobbie) prove not only a bit eccentric, but downright disturbing as they soon grow emotionally violent.  Disappointment awaits those expecting a horror movie; The Visit is actually a suspense drama, with a surprise twist you don't see coming ... though the twist itself isn't all that huge a reveal.  But even with a weak ending, it's a good thriller worth seeing - and, hopefully, a sign (no pun intended) that Shyamalan is back on track. (rated PG-13)  B

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - ROGUE NATION (2015)

After really disliking Ghost Protocol I was a bit afraid to watch this latest entry in the Mission: Impossible series - but from the ridiculous to the sublime, over two hours later was thrilled to find the series back to its old form, as well as the old format of the beloved TV series I grew up with.  Here, yet again disgraced, Ethan Hunt is on the lam from is own government, while trying to shut down The Syndicate, an anti-IMF force bent on causing chaos and destruction instead of averting it.  Unable to go it wholly alone, Ethan eventually has to bring in his own team in, undercover, all while averting the new CIA director out to get him ... a rogue lady assassin who may or may not be British intelligence ... and the heartless Solomon Kane (Sean Harris) himself, who is set on Hunt's destruction.  Suspenseful, fun, with great action sequences, set pieces, and one way-cool ending, Rogue Nation was a fabulous ride, blissfully ever-mindful of fanboys like me who still hold the original series in our hearts. (rated PG-13)  A

TERMINATOR GENISYS (2015)

The rather convoluted storyline of the latest in the Terminator franchise involves John Connor (Jason Clarke) yet again sending his friend/second-in-command Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) back to 1984 to protect Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) - when an event Kyle witnesses, just as he's leaving the future, seems to incite a fracture in timelines that has Reese showing up in a new 1984, where the good Terminator (Schwarzenegger) has already been protecting Sarah for the years, the two of them working on a long-term plan stop the machines from taking over.  This is an incredibly lame, confusing and wasted effort to milk the franchise, with a woefully-miscast Courtney (one of my favorite actors) unbelievable from scene one, and one of the industry's best actors, Byung-hun Lee, wholly wasted in a stupid homage to the liquid-metal man Terminator just so producers can tie the first three films with this one.  A weak ending setting up yet another sequel doesn't help, but simply makes viewers realize that as long as they keep screwing with the timelines, this series - long in need of termination - could go on forever. (PG-13)  D

ENGLISH WITHOUT TEARS (1944)

English Without Tears (aka Her Man Gilbey) is a quirky British wartime romantic comedy starring Margaret Rutherford (the main reason I wanted to see this film) as Lady Christabel Beauclark, an eccentric bird lover who travels Europe fighting for the territorial rights of endangered British birds, even as her young niece Penny (Joan Heseltine) grows to fall in love with the family butler, Gilbey (Michael Wilding, always terrific in whatever he is in).  At last professing her love, Penny is rejected by the older family servant - just as war breaks out and a stint in the service allows Gilbey to see Penny in a new light even as she moves on to teaching English to a rather eccentric group of foreign soldiers taking refuge in England.  "Eccentric" is the best word to describe this comedy, which doesn't fully work if you engage your brain too much - but is sweet, fun, and funny if you simply watch to enjoy yourself (Note: the link below is for the FULL FILM, not just a trailer). (not rated)  B-

BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS (2015)

Mixing comedy and horror is always difficult to do well.  An office comedy where vampires take over, starring Fran Kranz (whom I am a fan of), seemed like it had potential, and Bloodsucking Bastards plays nicely off Kranz's character of Evan, a poor schmoo of an acting manager in a telemarketing office who lets his buddies/co-workers slack all day and just blew a good potential relationship with Amanda (Emma Fitzpatrick) in HR.  But worse is to come when Evan's boss passes him over for promotion to instead hire Evan's old college rival, Max (Pedro Pascal) - and Evan quickly, very graphically and bloodily soon realizes Max's management style is to turn the whole office into vampires.  The action and gore are fun and fast-paced, the ending nicely violent without assaulting the senses, but while a good cast gives it their best, some of the characters are just annoying and the film never quite gets off the ground as a comedy.  Average, worth seeing, but could have been better. (not rated)  C+

HELLO GHOST (2010)

Marketed as a screwball comedy, Hello Ghost follows the downtrodden Sang-man (an amazing Tae-hyun Cha), a most unhappy man determined to kill himself - who, after his most recent attempt, finds himself with the ability to see ghosts.  Several entities, in fact (a portly smoker, a lustful older man, a woman who can't stop crying, and a precocious little boy), have literally attached themselves to Sang-man, and his only hope to send them to the other side is to make good on their final earthly wishes.  Mayhem ensues, as each ghost takes it upon himself or herself to possess Sang-man's body at will, leading to multiple misunderstandings and Sang-man's meeting a pretty hospice nurse he finds himself attracted to, even as she thinks he's a bit nuts.  As with many Korean films, Hello Ghost turns in its last third from oddball comedy into one of the most poignant, tears-inducing, loveliest films this reviewer has seen in some time.  Truly lovely, so much so I wish everyone could see this film. (not rated)  A

CURSED (2005)

After the loss of one of my favorite horror icons, Wes Craven, I wanted to catch one of his films I hadn't seen before ... and had always been curious about Cursed (which I heard wasn't good, but I'm a sucker for a werewolf story).  The film stars Christina Ricci and Jesse Eisenberg as L.A.-based sister and brother Ellie and Jimmy, whose lives are changed forever when a night-time car accident in the Hollywood Hills ends with a woman dead - and Ellie and Jimmy both wounded by what appears to be a large wolf.  As Jimmy researches werewolf mythology, he and Ellie both start displaying symptoms that include heightened awareness, strength, and physical attractiveness, as something continues to stalk the siblings even as another night of the full moon arrives.  Living up to its name, Cursed was supposedly beset with re-shoots and both major script and cast changes, and the film shows it; disjointed, slow-moving, bland, and unfunny when its shooting for laughs, this was a misfire that - sadly - never gets off the ground. (rated PG-13)  C-

SAN ANDREAS (2015)

I love disaster flicks - which is why, even though 4 minutes into San Andreas I knew was going to hate this movie, I stuck with it anyway.  But from the first time we see Dwayne Johnson, the sun glinting off his manly features as he (badly) utters his first line, to the moment shortly after when he calls a woman he's about to rescue "honey" (setting back women's rights about 30 years), the film turns into cliche after cliche via a horrible script and some very bad acting.  The "plot" involves Johnson, as search-and-rescue worker Ray, ignoring the lives of absolutely everyone else when the San Andreas fault cracks open and levels Los Angeles (later San Francisco), in order to find and rescue his own wife in L.A. before flying his chopper blindly over the millions of injured to get to San Francisco, so he can get his own daughter out of a trapped town car in a parking garage (swear to God).  The ridiculousness doesn't stop there, and even with good special effects I can't imagine how this film ever even got made. (rated PG-13)  D-

CITIZENFOUR (2014)

The origins of Citizenfour began in January 2013, when filmmaker Laura Poitras began receiving anonymous, encrypted emails from someone claiming to have evidence of illegal surveillance programs being done by the NSA, often with the cooperation of foreign governments.  These emails would lead her, along with reporters Glenn Greenwald and Ewan MacAskill, to Hong Kong several months later, where holed up in a hotel room they would begin interviews with the young man determined to make the world aware of the illegal electronic prying on their private lives ... former NSA employee Edward Snowden.  You have to keep reminding yourself, while watching Citizenfour, that these aren't actors - that you're really watching Snowden; really seeing how this played out once the media got wind of it.  But in the end, while at times riveting and always important, the film isn't likely to change your opinion on Snowden himself; what you do get, instead, is a portrait of a man who just wanted his fellow citizens to know the truth, even at the cost of his own freedom. (rated R)  B

SPY (2015)

Crude, lewd (especially the unrated cut - whew!), hilarious, and more entertaining than most of the espionage films it parodies, Spy is final proof that Melissa McCarthy can 1) headline a film; and 2) create a character, over caricature, from the ground up.  Here she's Susan Cooper, computer analyst for the CIA, backing up debonair agent Bradley Fine (Jude Law, channeling his best James Bond) until a disastrous mission sidelines Fine ... and has Susan, who's never been in the field before, volunteering for her first assignment: collecting intel on a possible nuclear weapons sale.  The film is brilliant, McCarthy never funnier than when forced to change her alias to become foul-mouthed bodyguard Amber Valentine, as she gets ever closer to cracking the case.  Avoid if you're prudish on things like foul language - otherwise wear something absorbent 'cause you might just wet yourself laughing.  OMG, and Jason Statham; who knew that rock of an action star could be so freaking funny?  (unrated)  A

BURYING THE EX (2014)

Burying the Ex stars Anton Yelchin as Max, a horror movie geek working at a Halloween/costume shop in L.A. who, one day, boinks his hot girlfriend Evelyn (Ashley Greene) in the back room there, after which Evelyn wishes on this weird devil statue that the two of them will remain together forever.  Flash forward to Evelyn now living with Max, and being such a control freak Max finally works up the nerve to break up with her ... until she is struck and killed by a bus on her way to their fateful meeting.  But a promise is a promise, and soon after Max starts getting involved with Olivia (Alexandra Daddario), zombie Evelyn digs herself out of her grave, determined she and Max will indeed be together forever - even if she has to make him a zombie to do it.  While Burying the Ex is a decent horror-comedy, it takes itself too seriously at times and suffers from the casting of Yelchin in the lead (he's just not that believable, or lovable-goofy enough).  Sadly, the film is just good enough to make you aware of how much better it could have been, if that makes sense ... (rated R)  C+

CHILD 44 (2015)

Glad my reviews are brief; keeps me from turning this write-up into a smarmy tribute to Tom Hardy - who, let's face it, may be the most talented actor working today.  Child 44 adds another formidable notch to his belt; here he plays Leo Demidov, a dedicated military police officer in Stalin's Soviet Union, circa 1953 ... until, disgraced over an incident involving his wife, Leo finds his safety further hampered when he sets his mind to solving a string of child murders in a land where such crimes don't exist, and are therefore written off as "accidents" in an all-is-well, pro-Stalin Russia.  Despite increasing threats, Leo works behind the scenes to solve the horrible crimes, even as the killer continues unabated, in a film that so perfectly captures the isolation, desperation, and rampant paranoia of the Soviet Union at the time, the suspense builds tight as piano wire as you watch Leo heading toward redemption ... or doom.  Incredible performances, led by the flawless Hardy, make this mesmerizing to watch. (rated R)  A-

UNFRIENDED (2014)

Taking place in real time on the desktop of popular high school girl Blaire (Shelley Hennig), Unfriended is off and running when Blaire and boyfriend Mitch (Moses Storm) have their flirty Skype session interrupted by friends Jess (Renee Olstead), Adam (Will Peltz), Ken (Jacob Wysocki) ... and a fourth person, sans Skype name or avatar, who claims to be fellow classmate Laura Barns, who killed herself a year ago.  First seen as a bad joke, it quickly becomes clear - as Laura's taunts become threatening - that whether human or supernatural, someone is out to expose the secrets of this group of friends ... and punish them for their deeds.  Unfriended works amazingly well; maybe because I actually watched it on my laptop, I loved the in-your-face intensity of the film; how it so connected you to what was going on, even the "unfriend" option gone missing from a Facebook profile page becomes unsettling.  Original, fun and genuinely creepy, this is a low budget thriller that feeds into our intimacy with the internet - and the fact that none of us has any real privacy on it. (rated R)  B

JURASSIC WORLD (2015)

Wanted to wait before reviewing this, as it's such an adrenaline-fueled film; one of those CGI wonders that gets you pumped up while watching it, caught up in the visuals ... but later on, when you think about the film itself, proves to have little substance.  While not as good as the first but better than the sequels, Jurassic World is the story of the never-ending pursuit of more profits, as yet another dinosaur theme park, built on the site of the original, is proving to be big business.  This time though, on-site scientists have created a brand new hybrid of dinosaur - one that, of course, ends up getting loose and causing a chain reaction of panic and problems.  Chris Pratt plays his two-dimensional raptor wrangler as best he can, while Bryce Dallas Howard feels miscast as the hard-boiled park exec whose own nephews become dino-bait.  The film is rousing, the effects good, the story pretty much the same as always - but ultimately it's all style and substance; a "popcorn" movie for the senses, even as it leaves nothing behind for the heart or soul to digest. (rated PG-13)  B-

WHY DON'T YOU PLAY IN HELL? (2013)

Imagine Quentin Tarantino going to an all-you-can-eat sushi bar, over-eating, then crashing into an insane dream ... and you have the film Why Don't You Play in Hell?, a bloody yakuza-thriller-comedy-romance about a Japanese crime boss who wants to make his wife's release from prison (after ten years) special by hiring a movie crew to make a film starring their teen daughter, who got famous as a little girl for a popular toothpaste commercial.  Enter the F*ck Bombers, a group of four gorilla filmmakers whose leader is determined to make his name in film history ... or die trying.  When that same leader gets the idea to film the actual raid of the crime boss and his gang on a rival yakuza gang, things go from nuts to insane, and words can't convey the sheer lunacy of the violent, bloody, off-its-hinges (and often hilarious) mayhem that follows.  While I wish it had a stronger ending, this is a great film, so original and nuts (and SO much fun) you can't help but appreciate it for that alone. (not rated)  A

PAINLESS (2012)

Saw this film on a recommend via one of my favorite horror writers, and while understanding comparisons to films like The Orphanage I felt this one lacked emotional depth.  Going back and forth between two time periods in Catalonia, first we see the effects of a fearful village, before and during the Spanish Civil War, on a small group of young children deemed to be impervious to pain; considered a danger to themselves and others, the children are sent to an old asylum for rehabilitation, though in truth no one knows how to "cure" them.  Meanwhile, in present day, a physician dying of bone cancer needs a marrow transplant, and when he learns his parents aren't really his parents, sets off on a journey to find his biological mother and father.  You can see the ending of Painless long before it comes, and even with the kids' horror story there is just a tonal coldness - a lack of emotional connection - here to make me want to recommend it. (not rated)  C-

STUNG (2015)

Stung is a fun homage to monster movies of the 1950's, where giant mutant ants or rabbits or frogs or whatever were always set on destroying our world.  Here the story revolves around a young caterer named Julia (Jessica Cook), who has taken over her father's business since his death, and her assistant Paul (Matt O'Leary), who drive out to an isolated country estate to cater a yearly garden party for an elderly widow and her creepy son Sydney (a wonderful Clifton Collins Jr.).  As the night goes on, we learn the deceased owner of the property was a guy whose business was pesticides - and that's about when the giant wasps start attacking, not only stinging the guests but using their bodies as hosts to grow more.  Stung is gory, fun, even funny - though I was hoping for "funnier"; had heard the film was sort of comedy-horror, but it takes itself a bit more seriously than that, to the film's detriment.  Still a truly fun, well-done monster movie fans of the genre will enjoy, no doubt; just wish it had pushed a little harder at poking fun at itself! (not rated)  B

THE TRUE COST (2015)

Though documentaries are often not "my thing," when the subject matter is close to my heart (animals, for instance) I can't resist.  What blew me away about The True Cost was how accurate the title was; from turning consumers into materialistic spendaholics, to the low-to-nothing slave wages paid to overseas factory workers living and working in deadly conditions in countries like Cambodia, Indonesia and India, to the environmental impact of genetically-enhanced cotton seeds potentially harming not only those who wear the clothing but also killing those who grow the cotton to make it, this film was a genuine, moving eye-opener to the high human cost paid to bring consumers the lowest clothing prices possible.  Also playing on the industry's constant feeding of the idea that we must buy more to be happier (when the opposite is true), The True Cost was a revelation to me ... and a film every person who likes to shop should see, hoping it will affect change. (rated PG-13)  B+

NORWEGIAN WOOD (2010)

Weeks later, I still don't quite know what to make of Norwegian Wood.  I've never read Haruki Murakami's novel (nor any of that author's work, yet), but watched the film because Death Note was one of the most original and fascinating film I'd seen in years ... and this film starred Ken'ichi Matsuyama, who played "L" in those films, and who is a brilliant, understated actor even here.  This film is well-acted, period, even if not perfectly cast, and the story - set in 1960's Japan - about college student Toru (Matsuyama), who reunites with his friend Naoko years after her boyfriend (also Toru's best friend) Kizuki committed suicide, is a study of how debilitating grief can be, and one man's journey to either let it swallow him ... or find life anew in someone new.  Not the most uplifting topic for a film, but at its weakest Norwegian Wood suffers from a near-total disconnect of its main characters, leaving a stone-cold emotionless tale that, while powerfully told, lacks the power to fully engage.  Disappointing. (not rated)  C

SKIN TRADE (2014)

After New Jersey cop Nick Cassidy (Dolph Lundgren), with the help of the feds and the Bangkok police, captures Serbian gangster/human trafficker Viktor (Ron Perlman) - killing the man's youngest son in the process - Viktor makes bail, promptly disappears, and sends a pair of goons to kill Cassidy's wife and young daughter, sending the devoted cop over the edge to Asia in search of Viktor and revenge.  Soon after his arrival, however, Cassidy is framed for the murder of a Thai cop - the partner of Tony Vitayakul (Tony Jaa), who in turn now hunts Cassidy for that murder, even as both of them try to put a stop to Viktor and his operation.  An okay action film elevated hugely by the presence of Tony Jaa, who after twenty years in the business still commands 100% of your attention on-screen.  Much of the plot we've seen before, but the film does a good job of bringing awareness to the horrific crime of human trafficking, and the cast's commitment to their roles make for an especially tense final battle. (rated R)  B-

PAUL BLART: MALL COP 2 (2015)

It's been six years since mall security guard Paul Blart (Kevin James) saved all those people in the East Orange, NJ mall (including his daughter) - and boy, has his life turned to crap since.  His wife left him after six days of marriage, his mom was run over and killed by a milk truck, and in short it would appear Paul Blart's life has peaked when he gets an invite to attend a security officer's convention in Las Vegas ... where (big surprise!) pretty much the same thing that happened in the first film happens in the second, when a rich patron of the Wynn Hotel (Neal McDonough) and his gang plot to replace and steal all the artwork in the building.  There was a charm to the first Blart film that's totally gone here in the re-hash, with Kevin James little more than annoying in the role.  Raini Rodriguez, Loni Love and a completely under-utilized David Henrie are the true reason to watch this film, but even they and some fun via Geovanni Gopradi as a cop can't save this (overall) unfunny film.  Let's hope Blart retires the badge after this one. (rated PG)  D+

PEYOTE (2013)

Simplicity is the backbone of this short, sweet tale of discovery called Peyote.  Essentially a two-character film, we're first introduced to Mexican teenager Pablo (Joe Diazzi) over breakfast, bored at home and using food to make a monster movie with his handheld video camera.  Heading out later, he finds himself filming at random until a guy in the local park - Marco - catches Pablo secretly recording him.  But instead of anger a friendship is born, and with his parents away for the summer it's easy work for Pablo to be talked into a road trip to the Mexican desert by Marco, in search of naturally-growing peyote for the naive teenager to try; a journey that not only opens the young men's eyes to each other, but also causes each of them to look at himself in a whole new way.  Wonderfully filmed showcasing the beauty of its Mexican landscape, Peyote sneaks up on you with its simplicity ... but in the end proves a profound film about friendship and first crushes, lovingly made. (not rated)  A

CHOCOLATE CITY (2015)

Not having seen the Magic Mike films yet I have no basis for comparison, but to me the acting, choreography and storyline of Chocolate City were all pretty awful.  Robert Ri'chard - whom I've been a fan of since he was a kid actor - stars as Michael McCoy, a "good guy" college student flipping burgers to help his mom and deadbeat brother pay the bills, when he's afforded the opportunity to really help out by working as an exotic dancer.  Ri'chard - still maintaining fresh-faced boyish innocence at age 32 - is the best thing about this otherwise passionless ode to African-American beefcake, in which the choreography of all the male dancers looks the same ... and instead of being "hot" makes you sort of want to bathe after watching it.  Factor in staples like the clueless girlfriend, aging and jealous "on his way out" dancer who hates Michael, NO real nudity to speak of, and a ridiculous ending that throws away all Michael was supposed to have learned from this experience, and what's left is something mostly uninteresting (and at times downright painful) to watch. (rated R)  D-

KING OF COMEDY (1999)

Perhaps some bias in this review, 'cause frankly I just love Stephen Chow.  In front of, behind, or writing for the camera, since Kung Fu Hustle I've known he's brilliant at comedy - and comedy with a heart.  No less here, starring as Hong Kong actor-wannabe Tin-sau, who no matter what he tries cannot seem to get beyond working as an extra for films and TV - most of the time even bungling that up, as he's so technical in his approach he won't even stop being "in character" until the director yells "Cut."  He lives poorly, puts on small productions at the local community center, and teaches acting on the side, his entire life spent in pursing his dream.  When a beautiful bar hostess comes to him for acting lessons, to act more sincere at work and earn more money, a potential romance begins to bloom ... just as Tin-sau, at last, gets what appears to be the break he's been working for.  Funny, warm, sweet, romantic, heartfelt - but who'd expect less from Stephen Chow? (not rated)  A-

A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT (2014)

Bad City, a near-ghost town in Iran, has earned its name; the place reeks of poverty and death, its few residents mostly surviving over living.  Arash (Arash Marandi) is a handsome young man living with his drug-addicted father, for whom he has literally given everything; Atti (Mozhan Marno) is a prostitute who has Arash's father as a regular customer, and the old man's drug dealer as a pimp.  And into their lives comes The Girl (a remarkable Sheila Vand), a petite, dark-haired beauty who walks the streets of Bad City at night ... and who happens to be a vampire living quietly in their town.  Director/writer Ana Lily Amirpour has fashioned a terrific, moody, atmospheric film about loneliness and despair that also works as one of the most original vampire movies ever made - shot in black and white, which gives it even more of a grace and beauty found so little these days in the "horror" genre.  Marandi and Marno are terrific, Vand wholly impressive as the lonely, haunting and haunted child of the night who finally finds a friend. (unrated)  A-

THE TECHNICIANS/aka THE CON ARTISTS (2014)

For a heist film featuring some standard trappings of the genre, there's just something charming about this film thanks to its star, model-turned-actor Kim Woo-bin.  This was my first time seeing Kim as an actor; was never a particular fan before, but this movie changed that.  Here he plays Ji-hyeok, a master thief/con artist with a penchant for cracking safes, who along with his buddy (Ko Chang-seok) pulls off one daring heist after another ... until, with the help of a young, untrustworthy hacker (Lee Hyun-woo), they steal thirty million in diamonds from President Jo, who has his own plans for an outlandish robbery and has now found the perfect guys to threaten into pulling it off.  As Ji-hyeok plots their final job and the cops close in, the film - in the last half hour - develops enough twists, double-twists, and surprises to have this viewer freaking out until the end.  Yes, Kim may be his own biggest fan, even here and in character ... but dang it, it works; I loved this film. (not rated)  A-

SUCH GOOD PEOPLE (2014)

Why all the hateful reviews of this film?  While not perfect (the story weakens in act two), Such Good People is an often funny, fun-to-watch caper comedy starring Michael Urie ("Ugly Betty") and Randy Harrison ("Queer as Folk") as gay couple Richard and Alex, who get the chance to live in the home of their dreams - temporarily - when a housesitting gig via a spiritually-enlightened Buddhist couple leaves them in charge of their Silverlake home and a trio of Labradoodles.  But when the couple dies over in Bhutan and the guys find a secret stash of close to a million in cash, they devise a scheme to better their lives that ends with the cops, Alex's greedy half-sister, and a killer in pursuit.  Urie and Harrison have great chemistry here (Randy Harrison, HOW do you only get better-looking with age?), and they're backed by a supporting cast who all seem to be having fun, too (special nod to Forrest Wheeler, Emery of ABC's "Fresh Off the Boat", who with no dialogue adds as much to the film as anyone else).  A pleasant surprise. (not rated)  B

SHAUN THE SHEEP MOVIE (2015)

Though I've never seen the TV series, being a huge fan of Aardman Animations (Chicken Run, all things Wallace & Gromit) made it a no-brainer to watch this charming animated feature about a very smart and rambunctious sheep, whose ingenious plan to have him and his friends take a day off working the farm backfires when their farmer ends up in the Big City with amnesia, and Shaun and his sheep friends - along with the farmer's dog - have to go and rescue him.  For about the first twenty minutes this film felt very much "for kids only" to me - but once things kick in, Shaun the Sheep Movie turns quickly into a funny, sweet, relatable, and very lovable story for all ages, about friendship and banding together and realizing there is, indeed, "no place like home."  Hopefully ewe'll love it as much as I did! (rated PG)  A-

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD (2015)

What a brilliant, intense, gutsy - and yes, deep - movie.  Starting with wall-to-wall action from the first minute, Mad Mad: Fury Road never let's up through its two-hour running time - making, say, Kingsman: The Secret Service (another of my favorite films this year) seem like The Bridges of Madison County by comparison.  Tom Hardy (fast becoming my favorite actor) stars as Max, Charlize Theron (whom I've gained a new liking and mad respect for) fairly owns the film as Furiosa ... and I'd be remiss not to mention yet another brilliant performance by an unrecognizable Nicholas Hoult, as Nux, who adds an emotional texture to the film you don't see coming.  Set in an apocalyptic future where the world's resources are gone and Earth's become a desert wasteland, a tormented Max - still tortured by his past - unwillingly teams with Furiosa, a woman on a mission to get back home and set things right, for the ride of their lives ... if they can outwit and outrun the veritable army led by the one man out to destroy them.  To say any more would risk spoilers, so I'll make it easy: SEE. THIS. FILM. (rated R)  A+

POLTERGEIST (2015)

The Bowen family - Eric (Sam Rockwell), Amy (Rosemarie DeWitt), and their three kids - have just moved into a cookie cutter suburban Chicago home after Eric is laid off from his job.  It's a new (if undesired) start, made worse even before they fully move in when six-year-old Madison starts talking to something unseen and hiding in the closet, and son Griffin experiences some weird happenings in his attic bedroom that go beyond the squirrel Eric finds there.  This update of the 1982 classic employs a box full of evil clown dolls instead of just one, a male psychic investigator instead of the wonderful Zelda Rubinstein - and while you'll recognize many of the same "moments" from the first film, giving you a sense of familiarity, this is a soulless remake that has zero chemistry among the family members (possibly the biggest strength of the original), making you care very little about their plight.  A few nice moments, but they should have left well enough - and Tobe Hooper - alone. (rated PG-13)  D