All reviews designed to be read in (approximately) one minute (or so) or less, for today's crazy, hurried world - all SPOILER-FREE!

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 (2014)

I was a bit disappointed with the first one, so was hoping The Amazing Spider-Man 2 would upgrade my opinion a bit, and it did ... to a degree.  After some backstory about Peter's parents to set us up - along with a funny, way-cool chase scene through Manhattan, to rescue a truckload of stolen plutonium - we're given more plot and story here, developing the relationship (or lack of one) between Peter Parker (Garfield) and Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) before a lonely, lowly Oscorp worker named Max (Jamie Foxx) suffers a horrific accident at Oscorp that turns him into super-villain Electro.  The brilliant Dane DeHaan comes aboard as Harry Osborn (Green Goblin), and even though the film is overstuffed with story, plot, and villains, I liked how big action sequences never overshadowed Peter's attempts to keep Gwen in his life, OR his determination to find out the truth about his dad.  Not a perfect film, but entertaining and absorbing - and it's nice to be getting more used to Garfield in the Spandex suit. (PG-13)  ***1/2

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 trailer

ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE (2013)

You can put up with a lot with horror comedies.  Most are low-budget, low-brow, and viewers tend to give them a lot of leeway on quality, not expecting much.  That said, All Cheerleaders Die - which I was really looking forward to seeing - doesn't come off as much of a comedy, is certainly weak (even by lowered standards) as a horror film, and seems more like the dream child of a couple of horny frat boys whose goal was to make a horror flick with scantily-clad chicks (though, oddly enough, there's almost no nudity here), and even some girl-girl action.  The acting is okay (what you'd expect), special effects kind of cool in some places, super-lame in others, but the story - of a quartet of cheerleaders brought back to life, via some enchanted crystals, by the lesbian goth girl in love with one of them - gets sillier as the film goes on, when for some reason (it's never explained) each of the girls needs to feed on blood to survive.  And while there are a couple of hints of dark comedy, the film is never funny ... or for that matter, even particularly interesting. (not rated)  **

ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE trailer

Sunday, July 6, 2014

DARR @ THE MALL (2014)

Opening with a mall security guard killed by a tall, menacing figure in black, Darr @ the Mall is a creepy Bollywood horror flick that has slow moments early on, but gets stronger as the bodies start to pile up (and the reasons behind what's going on are revealed).  Jimmy Shergill plays Vishnu Sharma, new head of security at Amity Mall, Asia's largest shopping mall about to open to the public.  Problem is, there have already been nine mysterious deaths since construction began on the mall (plus the guard, in the opener, who was also forced to set Sharma up to replace him), so right off Vishnu finds odd things going on.  The fun really begins when the mall owners host a lavish party for family, friends, and VIPs the night before the opening - a party that soon has ex-army Vishnu fighting to save the guests, all while dodging who (or what) brought him there in the first place.  Fun, nice jump scares, and a good reveal in the end - all without pummeling you with gore.  Loved it! (not rated)  ****

DARR @ THE MALL trailer

Friday, July 4, 2014

DOC OF THE DEAD (2014)

Irreverent documentary about our obsession with zombies, supposedly from the roots of the "zombie" in Haiti through White Zombie to George Romero to World War Z - but the film is scattershot, all over the place, unsure of whether it wants to be funny or really explore the topic (the latter would have been nice).  Worse, the film comes off slamming the very fans it showcases, from Romero's "I don't get it" reaction to all the hype (though he's made a fortune from it), to pompous World War Z author Max Brooks, to those who openly exploit the fans for financial gain by selling zombie survival kits or real-world walk-through scenarios of a zombie apocalypse.  The fans come off here as social misfits with little else going on in their lives; so much so, I even felt a bit uncomfortable myself - by the end - for even being a fan of the genre.  p.s. The too-brief Simon Pegg bits aren't bad. (unrated)  **

DOC OF THE DEAD trailer (R-rated)