ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM (2015)

Many reading this review might think I was on acid when I wrote it; those used to Asian manga, anime and cinema will understand.  In Assassination Classroom Japan has been invaded by an alien creature resembling a yellow octopus with a smiley face, who has already destroyed most of the moon and threatens the same with earth ... but agrees to take over a class of losers and misfits at the Kunugigaoka Junior High School - the "E-Class" - and teach them not only their lessons but also assassination skills, promising the only way the earth can be saved is if any of the kids can kill him by graduation in March.  The government steps in to help the students, but with each attempt the alien proves harder to destroy, always one step ahead and ALWAYS smiling.  Based on a Japanese manga, this film is nuts but also great fun, with a very likable cast and killer special effects; odd, funny, even hitting a couple of the emotional notes it goes for in the end - and with the way it ends, there'd best be a sequel! (not rated)  B

ANACONDAS: THE HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHID (2004)

Fear of snakes aside, had heard about this film for years plus it stars a few actors I really like and any "monster" movie so bad it can't take itself seriously is often a fun watch.  The problem with this film is, it takes itself way too seriously.  That, combined with some bad acting and special effects nearly as lame as what you find on SyFy Channel make for a disappointing film.  Each character is also a stereotype in this story of a team searching through the Indonesian jungle to find the elusive blood orchid, which contains properties that may or may not help create a fountain of youth-like drug to prolong life; the corporate lackey out of her element, the hot babe assistant, the borderline fanatic science dude determined to persevere, the grumpy but hunky boat captain who develops a conscience, the sharp-tongued tech guy - all and more battling some big-ass, fake-looking snakes when their boat gets destroyed.  And yet the first half of the film, at least, even comes off boring somehow; the rest is just kind of silly.  Gotta love Kong the monkey, though. (rated PG-13)  C-

THE INTERN (2015)

On the surface there's nothing new about The Intern; Anne Hathaway plays a beleaguered young woman, Jules, whose new internet start-up is growing almost too big for her, when her busy life's made busier as she's forced to take on an intern, Ben (Robert De Niro), as part of a program to help senior citizens.  A typical workplace comedy, with a slight twist.  But De Niro is such a marvel - being the oldest out of 220 twenty-something employees, Ben sort of becomes the "uncle" of the office, so affable and sweet and always wanting to help, you can't not fall in love with him ... and, by extension, the film.  Hathaway, in the "straight" guy role, is perfect as well - the film so wonderfully written and funny, with genuine warmth and humor and not a false note in the cast, I couldn't help but enjoy myself immensely watching it (even if I did have to keep reminding myself this was the same dude from Taxi Driver and Raging Bull).  De Niro's never been better, the entire film a sweet surprise. (rated PG-13)  A-

IF THERE BE THORNS (2015)

Wow, didn't realize Lifetime was cranking these out this fast.  The third in the weird, creepy, yet endlessly fascinating saga of the Dollanganger children, If There Be Thorns is where the book series starts to unravel a bit.  Flowers in the Attic was fascinating reading, even if you felt a bit like a perv enjoying it; Petals on the Wind, well, we all wanted to find out what happened to the kids afterward.  After that, the series became lurid and lackluster at the same time; here the story of Chris and Cathy Dollanganger (now Sheffield), living their lives as a married couple even though they're biologically brother and sister (yes, you read that right) and raising their two sons (by Cathy, via two different men, neither of them Chris; things don't go quite that nuts) in an idyllic life ... until a mysterious woman moves in next door who will prove to bring all past sins home.  Meh acting and writing, plus a melodramatic religious zealot storyline, don't help - and yet, as the film goes on, Mason Cook in particular (playing youngest son Bart) helps to make it all sickly fascinating, somehow.  (rated TV-14)  C-

STEVE JOBS (2015)

Not everyone will like Steve Jobs.  A complicated and controversial man, if you're looking for a complete, documentary-style portrait of his life or thought processes, this isn't it.  That said, Steve Jobs is one of my favorite films of the year.  Michael Fassbender and Kate Winslet are both Oscar-worthy as Jobs and his long-suffering assistant Joanna Hoffman (although, in a terrific surprise, Seth Rogen also shines as Steve Wozniak), and while some may find the film "talky" and with little action, I was glued to the screen from start to finish.  Starting with Jobs' introduction of the Macintosh computer in 1984, the film chronicles his rise and fall until the introduction of the iMac in 1998; a time in which Jobs changed the world and became both savior and villain of Apple.  It's an intense, amazing character study, Fassbender getting completely lost in Jobs' persona (truly, you forget he's Michael Fassbender) and heading a brilliant cast, in a film that gives you a glimpse into the genius - and deep flaws - of a man who would change the world. (rated R)  A

LOVE ACTUALLY (2003)

For the four weeks leading up to Christmas, Love Actually tells the loosely-related stories of eight different couples, whether it be finding or losing or regaining love.  Beautifully written, funny and poignant in all the right places, and often bordering on over-sentimentality (what else would you expect, from a Christmas-themed film?) but never falling over that edge, the film benefits as well from a stupendous cast; Colin Firth, Emma Thompson, Bill Nighy, Hugh Grant, Alan Rickman, Andrew Lincoln, Keira Knightley, Laura Linney, Rodrigo Santoro, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Liam Neeson, Martin Freeman, and Kris Marshall are only the tip of this iceberg of talent.  What sets this film apart, though, is the way it tracks so many characters, yet manages to make you feel for all of them; as if you know them, or would love to, by the end of the film.  Funny, sweet, enchanting, and everything a Christmas (or any good film) should be.  Just can't believe it took me this long to see it. (rated R)  A

ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL (2015)

Even with a title that doesn't scream "happy ending," I was drawn in by all the praise heaped on this film ... and the fact it co-stars Olivia Cooke, one of the best young actors working today.  Greg (a terrific Thomas Mann) is a high school senior who's managed to coast through life without making a single enemy - or a single friend, with the exception of his "co-worker" (Greg hates the term "friend") Earl (RJ Cyler, also terrific).  That is, until Greg's mom forces him to hang out for a day with Rachel (Cooke), the daughter of a friend (and classmate of Greg's) who's just been diagnosed with leukemia.  From here the film goes in both expected and surprising directions, but what's wonderful is it all feels authentic - so genuine to the story, the characters, and the flawed real world we live in.  Laughter and tears both in store, but one thing I didn't expect was for the film to be this touching - this real (thanks in large part to the three leads) - and this affecting, making me reflect on my own life and world.  Lovely stuff. (rated PG-13)  A

THE PEANUTS MOVIE (2015)

No doubt, Blue Sky was the studio to make this; the film is pitch-perfect in appearance, lovingly made and full of nostalgia, like the comics and cartoon specials made over in a three dimension.  They even got the voices right, as well as nearly every sight gag and recognizable line any Peanuts fan could think of; in fact, the first ten minutes of the movie are virtually crammed with them, as if the filmmakers are trying to reassure us: "Hey, we got this; we're not going to let you fans down."  The plot, such as it is, involves Charlie Brown's attempts to impress the little red-haired girl who's new to town (and whom he's crushing on, bad), intertwined a bit with Snoopy's World War I Flying Ace and his ongoing battle with the Red Baron, this time to save the beautiful Fifi.  A wonderful, beautiful walk down memory lane ... that, somehow, doesn't warm the heart as much as you'd expect, even coming off a bit cold/sterile - as if they got the mechanics right, but came up a wee bit short on the emotions. (rated G)  B+

PAN (2015)

Wow, so much hate for this film!  I get it - it was ballsy, maybe stupid, of the filmmakers to make up a back-story for the boy-who-never-grew-up for this prequel.  But to make Peter and Hook start off friends, AND bring in Blackbeard the pirate as the bad guy, THEN cast paler-than-white Rooney Mara as Tiger Lily?  I get it.  But other than a fairy land that resembles a cheap backdrop from a 1970's "Doctor Who" episode for the finale, and a "wtf" all-over-the-place performance by Garrett Hedlund as Hook, the film is actually fun - mostly due to newcomer Levi Miller, who's brilliant as Peter.  The story's paper-thin: Peter's a headstrong boy living in an orphanage, sure his mother will someday come for him when he (along with a bunch of others) is kidnapped by pirates and taken, by ship, to the island of Neverland, where boys are forced to mine for pixie dust for Blackbeard the pirate (Hugh Jackman), who has his own agenda.  Adventure, swordfights, and much CGI follows - but no, it doesn't suck. (rated PG)  C+

DRAMATIC SCHOOL (1938)

Was itching to see a classic and had Paulette Goddard on the brain, so came across this full film by accident on YouTube - and loved it.  Luise Rainer stars as Louise Mauban, a drama student at a prestigious acting school in Paris who works at night in a factory because she's very poor.  She daydreams through life, plays running through her head that she concocts in the hopes her life will follow suit and make her a successful actress - but when she fabricates a relationship with a wealthy playboy to avoid letting her fellow students know what she does at night, one of those students, Nana (Paulette Goddard), meets the man by chance and finds out it's all a lie ... so she sets a trap to catch Louise in her lie, in front of the entire class, though things don't go quite as planned.  Co-starring Lana Turner, Virginia Grey, Ann Rutherford, Gale Sondergaard and more, the stellar cast pulls off one very enjoyable romantic drama that, even with bits of melodrama, makes for an intriguing watch (note: the file below is the ENTIRE FILM, not just the trailer). (not rated)  B

TED 2 (2015)

Foul-mouthed and lowbrow and crude as it was, I really liked Ted.  Saw the unrated version - as I did with this sequel - and setting aside my brain for awhile thought it was funny as heck; even sweet, in the end.  Ted 2, not so much.  It started off promising - teddy bear-come-to-life Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) is marrying his human girlfriend Tami-Lynn (a wonderful Jessica Barth), and indeed the opening wedding scenes and Busby Berkeley-style opening credits let us know once again to be prepared for anything.  But things go downhill when Ted and Tami-Lynn try to adopt a kid, and get the attention of the U.S. government, which refuses to acknowledge Ted as a person.  The rest of the film is Ted and his Thunder Buddy John (Mark Wahlberg) hiring a young female attorney, Samantha (Amanda Seyfried), pro bono to fight Ted's cause in the courts, which want to declare him a possession.  There's a very cool finale at NYC's ComicCon, but in-between the film is flat, dull and not very funny.  Foul-mouthed and lowbrow and crude as it is. (unrated)  C

SCOUTS GUIDE TO THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE (2015)

Ben (Tye Sheridan, fast becoming one of my favorite actors), Carter (Logan Miller), and Augie (Joey Morgan) are best friends in high school who've been both friends and scouts since meeting as little boys.  Ben and Carter are ready to leave the scouts behind them - feel they're too old to be putting up with the teasing, and lack of play from girls that being a scout doesn't get them - but Augie lives for the scouts so they attend one final campout in his honor, trying to figure out how to tell him they're bailing.  Unfortunately, the guys are interrupted by a viral outbreak, via a local chemical company, that heralds the zombie apocalypse - and it will take all their training and skills as scouts to save the world ... as well as a secret party the seniors are throwing that sets them up as a zombie buffet.  This - film - is - HILARIOUS, the best zombie comedy I've seen since Dance of the Dead, with great zombies, terrific characters, a lot of heart, and even more laughs.  Absolutely wonderful. (rated R)  A+

SCOUTS GUIDE TO THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE trailer (Red Band: contains adult language/nudity/violence)

CRIMSON PEAK (2015)

Edith Cushing saw her first ghost as a girl, when the spirit of her deceased mother warned her to stay away from a place called "Crimson Peak".  As an adult, Edith (Mia Wasikowska) - an aspiring horror writer - finds her life again shattered when her father dies, seeking solace in the arms of her suitor, the baronet Thomas Sharpe (Tom Hiddleston), whom she marries.  Whisking her away to his remote manor in the English countryside, where Thomas lives with his sister Lucille (Jessica Chastain), Edith finds herself stuck in a creppy mansion literally falling down around her, with a brother and sister whose hearts are as dark as the ghosts she starts again to see.  Don't go into this Guillermo del Toro-directed feast-for-the-eyes thinking horror; instead del Toro has crafted pure gothic romance, with touches of the supernatural, violence and gore.  Chastain is brilliantly evil, Hiddleston the man in the middle as Wasikowska's Edith finds herself increasingly snowbound in a world of ghosts and madness. (rated R)  B

CRIMSON PEAK trailer

CHRISTMAS EVE (2015)

An accident in Manhattan, resulting in a delivery van hitting a transformer and knocking out the power in all the neighboring buildings, strands five different groups of strangers and one Scrooge-like businessman (Patrick Stewart) in six different elevators on Christmas Eve.  From a group of classical musicians, to a photographer and a beautiful girl, to a pair of doctors and their interns and a patient straight out of recovery, to a germaphobe stuck with a pair of ditzy girls and a brainiac and a muscle-bound jock, to a guy just fired from his job forced to share an elevator with the guy who fired him, the film interchanges between the groups as time passes and tensions (and fears) mount ... in, to me, what felt like possibly the least-Christmassy Christmas movie I've ever seen.  The cast tries hard, and several moments are sweet, but overall the film - billed as a drama-comedy - isn't very funny, and there are too many characters for the film to develop any of them enough for you to care.  Predictable and formulaic.  Even Patrick Stewart is annoying. (rated PG)  C-

CLOUDS OF SILS MARIA (2014)

I sought this film out because of all the accolades Kristen Stewart has received from it.  Finding her little more than a block of wood in anything I've seen her in, imagine my shock to find she's the most riveting thing about this film; you simply can't turn away from the screen when she's on it.  Binoche stars as internationally-renowned stage actress Maria Enders, who arrives in a remote village in the Alps with her personal assistant Valentine (Stewart) to rehearse for the revival of a play she did over twenty years before - back then playing the young ingenue, now in the role of the older woman.  The play brings out dormant emotions in Maria, the characters' relationship even overlapping into her relationship with Valentine, in a wordy film that features some beautifully-written dialogue ... but also an open ending where, I believe, the viewer's supposed to determine what happened.  If that's not your thing you may not like this, but for Stewart's work alone (though all the cast is great) it's for-sure worth seeing. (rated R)  B-

GOOSEBUMPS (2015)

Based on R.L. Stine's hit series of creepy children's books, Goosebumps is an effects-laden but hugely enjoyable adventure-comedy about teenager Zach (Dylan Minnette), just moved to town with his mom, who meets a beautiful girl named Hannah (Odeya Rush) living next door with her whack-job of an overprotective father (Jack Black).  Turns out dad is bestselling author R.L. Stine himself, and Zach - along with new friend Champ (Ryan Lee) - finds this out around the same time they accidentally open a book that sets the Abominable Snowman free.  Turns out Stine's so good because all his monsters are real, once he writes about them - and when Slappy the evil ventriloquist dummy is freed, then decides to set his evil brethren free as well, all hell breaks loose and the gang must find a way to put all the demons back in the books.  Black, even playing Stine as a dramatic diva, still manages his signature mugging for the camera, but the effects, action, humor and monsters themselves are pretty awesome. (rated PG)  B+

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2 (2015)

Always nice, when a sequel matches or betters its predecessor - and HT2 is a whole lot of fun.  Set a number of years down the road from the first one, this film finds Vampa ("Grandpa" mashed up with "Vampire") Dracula having made a number of changes to his popular Transylvanian hotel - not the least of which is opening its doors to human clientele - thanks to his toddler grandchild Dennis, who is half-human and half-vampire.  Problems begin when Drac's daughter Mavis, Dennis's mom, wonders if maybe living in a hotel full of monsters might be too much for her very human son (almost five, legend has it that if Dennis doesn't sprout fangs by his birthday, he'll be human forever), and, under the influence of her in-laws, talks of moving to California ... making Dracula sneak behind her back, with the help of his monster friends, to make sure Dennis becomes the vampire child Drac is sure he's meant to be, before the kid turns five.  The film is really funny, with a terrific story and great animation; loved it! (rated PG)  A-

ANT-MAN (2015)

Nothing awful about this entry in the Marvel franchise featuring a hero who, via an incredible super-suit, can shrink to the size of a bug to fight crime, his strength, stamina and speed increasing proportionately when he shrinks.  The film moves well, has some nice special effects, comedy and action sequences, and benefits from a dramatic Michael Douglas as the man who invented the technology, who gets ex-con Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) to wear the suit so he can steal his own tech back from the very company that ousted him, before a new hot-shot can adapt it for evil.  The problem is, the film is just sort of ... bland.  You don't dislike Lang, but he's not that likable, either.  The story and effects are really nothing we haven't seen versions of before.  And well-done as it is, the film only truly glows whenever the hilarious Michael Pena is on-screen; he steals every scene he's in.  Otherwise, again, not a bad film; just ... another notch on Marvel's belt that simply feels too rote.  Or maybe I'm getting burnt out on superhero films. (rated PG-13)  B-

L.A. SLASHER (2015)

After seeing the repulsive Kevin Smith film Tusk (the worst film I've ever seen, in all these decades of watching movies) last year, I was thinking I might escape 2015 without seeing something so bad, it made me nearly angry watching it.  Then along came L.A. Slasher.  Marketed as a dark comedy-horror-crime film, the movie is about a mysteriously-masked killer in a white suit and shaggy dark hair, who snaps and starts kidnapping and/or offing reality-TV "celebrities" - to the delight of his social media fans, who spur him on to do more/worse.  The film seems tongue-in-cheek at first, but right away degrades into weird torture horror, made all the more ridiculous by its over-the-top lack of - no pun intended - reality (seriously, no one dislikes reality-TV more than me, but the public's reaction to the killer's actions are just nuts).  Struggling to get through the last twenty minutes, it's no Tusk ... but definitely my least favorite piece-of-crap film for 2015. (rated R)  F

L.A. SLASHER trailer

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1993)

Just one of many - many -revered animated films I'd not previously seen, The Nightmare Before Christmas is about what happens when the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, Jack Skellington, seeks to alleviate the boredom of doing the same thing every year - and stumbles into Christmas Town, where the bright colors, happy children, and "Sandy Claws" show him a whole new way of life.  Back home, he's determined to find out the secrets behind Christmas, and turns Halloween Town into a mash-up of the two holidays - a plan that involves kidnapping Sandy Claws and taking his place to deliver presents around the world.  Love the music, the stop-motion animation is brilliant to look at, a budding romance doesn't intrude on the story, the film is very funny, and I have to admit I got hooked on a certain trio of really rotten siblings, alone.  Great film, very sorry it took so long to see it; one of my favorites seen in 2015. (rated PG)  A

UNNATURAL (2015)

When I was about 14 I caught the film Grizzly in a theater, and have been sort of hooked on killer wildlife movies since.  Unnatural (aka Maneater) offers nothing new via story: snotty photographer and his put-upon assistant and two models arrive at an isolated Alaskan lodge for a three-day photo shoot - just in time for a nearby research center, owned by an Evil Corporation that claims to be eco-friendly, to be torn apart by a very big, very genetically-altered polar bear that's very thirsty for blood.  Even with the stock plot I really enjoyed this film; it's a fun "monster flick" that builds up good suspense and action with limited gore, at the same time giving viewers one really awesome-looking, bad-ass polar bear that doesn't look all CGI or like some dude in a suit!  For that reason alone, this was just plain fun (if these are your type of movies), with an ending that at least tries to step away from the cliche a bit. (rated R)  B

UNNATURAL trailer

SECRETLY, GREATLY (2013)

Dong-gu (Kim Soo-hyun, in a stellar performance) is sort of the village idiot in his shantytown neighborhood in Seoul.  He wears the same green track suit every day, falls down a lot, gets picked on by neighborhood kids, and is always grinning like a doofus, laughing at nothing in particular.  He lives above a small store run by an elderly lady who's sort of taken him in - but what she (in fact no one) knows is that Dong-gu is actually Captain Won Ryu-hwan, a highly-trained, very deadly North Korean spy who has been undercover for two years now, in the simpleton character his government set up for him, awaiting orders.  When two other young guys, secret agents from the north, show up in town as well, Won is sure their missions are about to be realized ... but when the notice comes, it not what any of them expects.  The first half of this film plays like a comedy - and it is both funny and touching - but then the film flips and you're watching a full-fledged spy thriller; one that, in the end, left me crying so hard. the tears were still flowing when I went to bed later that night.  One amazing movie, with a dynamite cast.  Just have tissues.  Lots of them. (not rated)  A

SECRETLY, GREATLY trailer

CUPCAKES (2013)

Six friends/neighbors in Tel Aviv - Ofer, a gay male who runs a daycare for kids, and his five best lady friends - get together every week to watch the UniverSong competitions on TV.  Bemoaning the lack of great tunes on the show (and to cheer up Anat, whose husband has just left her), the group comes up with an impromptu, upbeat song, which one of them records on her phone.  As a joke, Ofer sends the song into UniverSong, the group shocked beyond belief when it's chosen to represent Israel in the following year's competition!  Can they form a polished singing group, despite their jobs and the objections of family and friends, in time to ... maybe even win?  Cupcakes is so much fun, positive, life-affirming and colorful, full of characters that grow deeply on you and a life philosophy/theme running through the film it's too bad more people don't embrace.  A wonderful, funny film that will also tug at your heartstrings. (not rated)  A-

CUPCAKES trailer

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. (2015)

Directed by Guy Ritchie (who tends to make films that go fairly bonkers on-screen), the film version of the 1960's hit TV series stars Henry Cavill as ex-thief/current top CIA agent Napoleon Solo, who is sent into East Berlin to extract a young female mechanic (Alicia Vikander) whose scientist father may be helping an enemy organization build an atomic bomb.  Solo is greatly hindered in the escape by Russian KGB agent Illya Kuryakin (Armie Hammer), though he makes it out with the girl - only to learn he must now team with Kuryakin (who has over-the-top anger issues) on a top-secret mission to rescue the doctor and retrieve all information on the bomb.  The film totally evokes 1963, from fashion to politics, and while Cavill still comes off a bit like a block of wood on-screen, Hammer is terrific as the conflicted Russian agent.  A top-notch spy film with touches of humor and chutzpah (a Guy Ritchie trademark), while not perfect it's a wonderful homage to both the era and the spy thriller, all done tongue very much in cheek - and more than worthy of a sequel. (rated PG-13)  B+

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON (2015)

There is a lot going on in Avengers: Age of Ultron.  A LOT.  Director/writer Joss Whedon seems to throw everything but the kitchen sink into this one, starting with Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.)'s ambition to use Loki's recovered scepter (retrieved via an opening action sequence so saturated in CGI, it'll make you dizzy) to revive a peacekeeping program so the Avengers are no longer needed.  Things go belly up, of course, creating the evil Ultron and putting the world - and it's greatest superheroes - in more ka-ka than ever before.  Though not as good as the first (certainly not as brilliant as Captain America: The Winter Soldier), Whedon pushes all the right buttons here in regards the superhero flick - tons of action, bad guys who might be good guys, and CGI up the wazoo - and it's fun while it last, but in the end you're left with the sense of "seen it all before."  A must-see for any superhero film junkie, definitely; maybe not so much for those of us who seek something more beyond the visuals. (rated PG-13)  B

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON trailer

THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI (1920)

One of silent film era's most iconic masterpieces, to finally see The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari in a restored version on Netflix (see the 71-minute version, if you can!) was a genuine treat.  The film opens with the handsome young Francis, sitting on a bench recounting to a friend the story behind the odd, near-ethereal behavior of his fiancee Jane; back to the annual fair in Holstenwall, when Francis and his friend Alan attended the sideshow-like attraction of Dr. Caligari and his somnambulist patient Cesare, who has been sleeping all his 20+ years in a cabinet, only awakening by Caligari long enough to predict the future.  That day, Cesare predicts Alan will die by morning - and when Alan is, in fact, murdered overnight, Francis is sure the madman Caligari and Cesare are behind it.  A dark, brooding "photo-play" filmed on exaggerated theatrical sets - giving it an extra sense of madness - make this German production an engrossing must-see, ... nearly a hundred years after it was made! (unrated)  A-

MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO (1988)

Forever on my to-be-watched list was My Neighbor Totoro.  Beautifully, simply animated, the film is the story of two young girls, Satsuki and her little sister Mei, who've just relocated to a small but cozy home in the country with their father, to be closer to their ailing mother (currently receiving care in a nearby hospital).  The father/daughters bond in the film is sweet and genuine, the girls happy and eager to explore their new surroundings - and it's when Mei discovers that the nearby forest is the home of mystical creatures who resemble the "Totoros" in one of her picture books do the girls discover a world full of wonder and adventure.  The film is short on plot - there are no "villains" to defeat, or violence or ticking clocks of doom - which makes this terrific, touching, and funny story so much more brilliant; none of that is needed in light of characters you care about, and the smile that wraps itself around your heart as you watch, whether child or adult. (rated G)  A

THE GREAT MAGICIAN (2011)

Set in the years after the 1911 revolution that deposed the Qing Dynasty, China is now divided among a group of bickering warlords constantly fighting with each other.  One of them, Bully Lei, has a second-in-command using magic to force convicts and the poor to joining their army ... even as he secretly plots to help bring back the Empire, himself.  Enter the mysterious stranger Chang Hsien (Tony Leung Chiu Wai, the "Clark Gable of China" and one of the finest actors in film ever), a master of magic somehow connected to Bully Lei's seventh (and most uncooperative) wife - a young, beautiful woman Bully originally kidnapped, whose icy veneer will only melt when Bully finds her missing father.  Great touches of comedy here, especially in the end, and the magic tricks/effects are superb.  A great cast makes things fun as well, and while I think the film runs a little long (could have been edited down just a bit), it's such fun to watch ... and Tony Leung Chiu Wai, as always, fascinates whenever he's on-screen. (not rated)  B-

THE RAVEN (1935)

Boris Karloff.  Bela Lugosi.  No other review really needed; even in their hokiest of B-movies, either of these horror icons is worth watching.  Here much more so - in a creepy, very atmospheric (even by today's standards), at times melodramatic film about a brilliant and famous surgeon obsessed with Edgar Allan  Poe, Dr. Richard Vollin (Lugosi), who is the only hope for a beautiful dancer (Irene Ware) who lies in a coma after a bad car accident.  Saving the girl, Vollin finds himself growing obsessed with her - regardless of the woman's finance and disapproving father - and when escaped killer Edmond Bateman (Karloff) shows up at his door seeking a new face to replace his ugly one, Vollin sees the man as his shot at getting the girl - and torturing and killing anyone who gets in his way.  The Raven was controversial in its day for its frank discussion of torture and death, and even now still has its elements of creepiness right up through the still-pulse-pounding last ten minutes.  Great film. (unrated)  B+

THE RAVEN trailer

SPOOKS: THE GREATER GOOD/MI-5 (2015)

Not having seen the series, I went into this one totally green (and mostly out of my fanboy love of Kit Harington).  So this review is strictly for the stand-alone film - a terrific spy thriller about the betrayals and machinations going on behind-the-scenes at London's MI-5, after known terrorist Qasim (the brilliant Elyes Gabel) escapes during a routine transport in the city.  The escape is seen as a huge goof to the American CIA, who were most after Qasim and want to oversee MI-5 as it is, and disgraced MI-5 head of counter-intelligence Harry Pearce (Peter Firth) even commits suicide over the gaffe.  Or does he?  Young, decommissioned (by Pearce) former agent Will Holloway (Harington), the only known connection to the now-in-hiding Pearce, is brought back in and talked into finding his former boss - at which time Holloway also learns that nothing, or no one, may be what it seems ... even Harry.  A first-rate, heart-racing spy movie with a great cast, made especially emotional for me as I saw it the day after the terrorist attacks in Paris.  Awesome, complex film. (rated R)  A-

THE ARISTOCATS (1970)

A rich French widow and former singer, totally enamored of her cat Duchess and Duchess's three kittens, rewrites her will so her beloved cats will always be cared for, her estate otherwise going to faithful butler Edgar when they're gone.  Problems arise when Edgar gets wind of his potential windfall and spirits the cats out of the house, taking them way into the countryside and dropping them off in a basket as they sleep.  There, Duchess and her children are discovered by worldly tomcat Thomas O'Malley, who along with a slew of other animals they meet along the way helps the cats return home, even as Edgar plots to cover his tracks.  Funny, sweet, and with some truly lovable characters (voiced by equally lovable character actors), along with some great jazz tunes and a quite funny final "chase" scene, The Aristocats is a great addition to Disney's classic animation (so cool, seeing hand-drawn animation again for first time in awhile!) - one I'm sorry it took this long for me to see. (rated G)  A-

HOWL (2015)

An indie British thriller hearkening back to the Hammer horror hey-days, Howl stars Ed Speleers as Joe, a good-guy train conductor just passed over for another promotion, who finds himself working a double shift when someone doesn't show for the midnight train heading out.  Oh well, at least the pretty female co-worker who sells the commuters food and drink on the train is working, too; a good thing, as the passengers are kind of surly.  But they're nothing compared to when the train hits something and is forced to a stop in the middle of some woods - the driver disappears - and Joe and the others soon realize there is something out there, something prowling under the light of a full moon and trying to find its way in.  Low budget and a bit schlocky in places, with some stereotypical horror film characters, Howl is still a crazy, quite fun ride through werewolf country, with decent performances and good effects and some truly nail-biting moments.  If nothing else, it will certainly make you think twice before taking another late-night commuter train home. (unrated)  B

HOWL trailer

FANTASTIC FOUR (2015)

So much hate against this film - the story of Reed Richards (Miles Teller), who as a child developed a prototype for a teleporter.  Now in high school and still working the dream with long-term buddy Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell), Reed is recruited by Dr. Franklin Storm (Reg E. Cathey) and his daughter Sue (Kate Mara) for their school, where Reed furthers his research with fellow trailblazing student Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell), creating a teleporter large enough for human trials.  But an experiment that sends the gang (including Sue's brother Johnny, played by Michael B. Jordan) to another dimension ends in disaster, the friends infused with incredible mutations the government soon sees as assets to their military.  At 100 minutes, the problem with FF is it plays like a pre-opening credits prologue; it's nearly all set-up, nothing really happening until the last fifteen minutes (not to mention the unforgivably cornball final scene).  Not awful, just more like ... Mediocre Four. (rated PG-13)  C

LET US PREY (2014)

Let Us Prey is set in a small, desolate Scottish town that seems to have virtually been deserted.  It's Rachel's first night on the local police force there, one that becomes eventful when the station is visited by a mysterious bearded man whose arrival sets in motion a night of mind games and violence as he seems to purposeful bring out the absolute worst demons in those who come into contact with him.  While not particularly scary, the film is violent and bloody in a joyously over-the-top way, while building up the deeper meaning behind what's going on ... but the ending is a mess (literally and figuratively), and overall the film - for me - was seriously ugly and dour, without a single character worth caring or rooting for.  Very mixed feelings on this one, but overall - nah. (unrated)  C-

LET US PREY trailer (RedBand - Adult Language/Scenes)

MINIONS (2015)

Man, I love these little hellraisers; could only imagine the trouble they'd get into with their own film.  Sure enough, Minions begins chronicling the origins of these yellow buggers - from earth's beginnings, going up to 1968 New York City - and how, with each new evil master they come to serve, their over-anxious efforts to please cause said master serious trouble.  Finally making their home in an ice cave, minions Kevin, Bob and Stuart decide to break from the pack and seek out a new evil master to serve ... which they find in NYC via Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock), whose new plan involves stealing the Queen of England's crown.  But things don't go off as planned (naturally), and indeed Bob ends up King of England - a plot twist even Overkill hadn't foreseen.  While the film is really funny and completely alive whenever minions are on-screen, somehow it left me feeling a bit let down (Scarlet is a pretty weak villain, as well).  Like it could have been so much more - packed so much more an "oomph" than it did - even though the ending tied things up sweetly. (rated PG)  B

MR. HOLMES (2015)

Wasn't sure about this one, upon seeing the trailer (it seemed a huge downer of a film), but my love for both Sherlock Holmes and Ian McKellen pulled me in ... to what ended up being a moving, ,beautifully-acted drama, set in 1947, about a retired Sherlock Holmes, living in the countryside of Sussex with his housekeeper and her young son, who thirty years after it happened still reels from the effects of his last case - even as his failing memory refuses to allow him to remember why.  McKellen is incredible, the film leaping back and forth in time even as, in present day, Holmes forms a friendship with Roger, his housekeeper's young son (Milo Parker), who may be the key to helping him remember.  Simple, elegant, and quite moving, thanks to McKellen's understated performance and a remarkable cast, Mr. Holmes was a surprise - and a worthy addition to the Holmes canon that depicts the character in an entirely real, wonderfully vulnerable new light. (rated PG)  A-

TALES OF HALLOWEEN (2015)

When you compact ten short films about Halloween into just over an hour and a half's running time, you can expect the films themselves to be hit and miss.  That said, Tales of Halloween, from the beginning, felt like putting on your favorite set of pajamas and watching episodes of "Creepshow" or "Tales from the Darkside" as a kid - though with the gore factor ratcheted up.  Ghosts, ghouls, the devil, serial killers, witches, evil children, vengeful demons, and wonderful cameos from Lombardo Boyar to Barry Bostwick, Greg Grunberg (in full Big Ass Spider! uniform) to Sam Witwer, Booboo Stewart to John Landis, Lin Shaye to the late, great Ben Woolf to some sexy-wicked narration by Adrienne Barbeau, even with a few clunkers there is just something wonderful about the whole package of evil little short films here, it all feels somehow both nostalgic yet fresh at the same time.  So much so, am kind of hoping they'll produce another next Halloween. (rated R)  B+

THEY MET IN BOMBAY (1941)

Gerald Meldrick (Clark Gable) is a long-term professional jewel thief at the height of his career when he arrives in India, posing as an insurance inspector with Lloyd's of London as he prepares to steal a priceless necklace.  What he doesn't count on is a baroness staying in the same hotel, whose real name is Anya Von Duren (Rosalind Russell), a con artist who manages to get her hands on the necklace first.  When Gerald finesses the necklace from Anya, in the guise of a cop, she goes after him - and the two end up running from the authorities together, buying passage on a Chinese steamer, on the way to Hong Kong, led by Captain Chang (Peter Lorre) ... on the eve of Japan's invasion of China.  Light romantic comedy made worth watching by its cast, otherwise a stock story with no surprises, even though Gable and Russell make it fun. (not rated)  B-

INSIDE OUT (2015)

Of all the positive adjectives you could ever use to describe a Pixar film - and there are many, as their best films hold up both over time and to any live-action film ever made - the one I never considered was profound.  But that word best describes what I took away from Inside Out, a near-perfect film about a tween named Riley, relocating with her parents from Minnesota to San Francisco, who literally finds her inner emotions - Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust - in turmoil when Joy and Sadness are accidentally thrust from Headquarters and into the deep recesses of Riley's conflicted mind ... where, in their absence, things begin to go wrong.  Mixing laughs and tears in equally potent measure, kids will love Inside Out ... but it's the adults who will "get" the on-target way the film captures humanity/the human psyche in all its imperfections and glory.  It's hard to express the beauty, originality, and depth of this brilliant film in such a short, no-spoiler space, except to say it simply: SEE THIS MOVIE. (rated PG)  A+

THE VISIT (2015)

The Visit is the story of teenager Becca (Olivia DeJonge) and her young brother Tyler (Ed Oxenbould), who have never met their estranged grandparents as their widowed mom (Kathryn Hahn) moved out of her house in anger long before they were born, over wanting to marry their father.  But the grandparents have reached out online to their only daughter, who begrudgingly puts her kids on a train to the country for a week, at the kids' insistence (especially Becca, who's filming a documentary about their family), to meet their grandparents.  But Nana (Deanna Dunagan) and Pop Pop (Peter McRobbie) prove not only a bit eccentric, but downright disturbing as they soon grow emotionally violent.  Disappointment awaits those expecting a horror movie; The Visit is actually a suspense drama, with a surprise twist you don't see coming ... though the twist itself isn't all that huge a reveal.  But even with a weak ending, it's a good thriller worth seeing - and, hopefully, a sign (no pun intended) that Shyamalan is back on track. (rated PG-13)  B

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - ROGUE NATION (2015)

After really disliking Ghost Protocol I was a bit afraid to watch this latest entry in the Mission: Impossible series - but from the ridiculous to the sublime, over two hours later was thrilled to find the series back to its old form, as well as the old format of the beloved TV series I grew up with.  Here, yet again disgraced, Ethan Hunt is on the lam from is own government, while trying to shut down The Syndicate, an anti-IMF force bent on causing chaos and destruction instead of averting it.  Unable to go it wholly alone, Ethan eventually has to bring in his own team in, undercover, all while averting the new CIA director out to get him ... a rogue lady assassin who may or may not be British intelligence ... and the heartless Solomon Kane (Sean Harris) himself, who is set on Hunt's destruction.  Suspenseful, fun, with great action sequences, set pieces, and one way-cool ending, Rogue Nation was a fabulous ride, blissfully ever-mindful of fanboys like me who still hold the original series in our hearts. (rated PG-13)  A

TERMINATOR GENISYS (2015)

The rather convoluted storyline of the latest in the Terminator franchise involves John Connor (Jason Clarke) yet again sending his friend/second-in-command Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) back to 1984 to protect Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) - when an event Kyle witnesses, just as he's leaving the future, seems to incite a fracture in timelines that has Reese showing up in a new 1984, where the good Terminator (Schwarzenegger) has already been protecting Sarah for the years, the two of them working on a long-term plan stop the machines from taking over.  This is an incredibly lame, confusing and wasted effort to milk the franchise, with a woefully-miscast Courtney (one of my favorite actors) unbelievable from scene one, and one of the industry's best actors, Byung-hun Lee, wholly wasted in a stupid homage to the liquid-metal man Terminator just so producers can tie the first three films with this one.  A weak ending setting up yet another sequel doesn't help, but simply makes viewers realize that as long as they keep screwing with the timelines, this series - long in need of termination - could go on forever. (PG-13)  D

ENGLISH WITHOUT TEARS (1944)

English Without Tears (aka Her Man Gilbey) is a quirky British wartime romantic comedy starring Margaret Rutherford (the main reason I wanted to see this film) as Lady Christabel Beauclark, an eccentric bird lover who travels Europe fighting for the territorial rights of endangered British birds, even as her young niece Penny (Joan Heseltine) grows to fall in love with the family butler, Gilbey (Michael Wilding, always terrific in whatever he is in).  At last professing her love, Penny is rejected by the older family servant - just as war breaks out and a stint in the service allows Gilbey to see Penny in a new light even as she moves on to teaching English to a rather eccentric group of foreign soldiers taking refuge in England.  "Eccentric" is the best word to describe this comedy, which doesn't fully work if you engage your brain too much - but is sweet, fun, and funny if you simply watch to enjoy yourself (Note: the link below is for the FULL FILM, not just a trailer). (not rated)  B-

BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS (2015)

Mixing comedy and horror is always difficult to do well.  An office comedy where vampires take over, starring Fran Kranz (whom I am a fan of), seemed like it had potential, and Bloodsucking Bastards plays nicely off Kranz's character of Evan, a poor schmoo of an acting manager in a telemarketing office who lets his buddies/co-workers slack all day and just blew a good potential relationship with Amanda (Emma Fitzpatrick) in HR.  But worse is to come when Evan's boss passes him over for promotion to instead hire Evan's old college rival, Max (Pedro Pascal) - and Evan quickly, very graphically and bloodily soon realizes Max's management style is to turn the whole office into vampires.  The action and gore are fun and fast-paced, the ending nicely violent without assaulting the senses, but while a good cast gives it their best, some of the characters are just annoying and the film never quite gets off the ground as a comedy.  Average, worth seeing, but could have been better. (not rated)  C+

HELLO GHOST (2010)

Marketed as a screwball comedy, Hello Ghost follows the downtrodden Sang-man (an amazing Tae-hyun Cha), a most unhappy man determined to kill himself - who, after his most recent attempt, finds himself with the ability to see ghosts.  Several entities, in fact (a portly smoker, a lustful older man, a woman who can't stop crying, and a precocious little boy), have literally attached themselves to Sang-man, and his only hope to send them to the other side is to make good on their final earthly wishes.  Mayhem ensues, as each ghost takes it upon himself or herself to possess Sang-man's body at will, leading to multiple misunderstandings and Sang-man's meeting a pretty hospice nurse he finds himself attracted to, even as she thinks he's a bit nuts.  As with many Korean films, Hello Ghost turns in its last third from oddball comedy into one of the most poignant, tears-inducing, loveliest films this reviewer has seen in some time.  Truly lovely, so much so I wish everyone could see this film. (not rated)  A

CURSED (2005)

After the loss of one of my favorite horror icons, Wes Craven, I wanted to catch one of his films I hadn't seen before ... and had always been curious about Cursed (which I heard wasn't good, but I'm a sucker for a werewolf story).  The film stars Christina Ricci and Jesse Eisenberg as L.A.-based sister and brother Ellie and Jimmy, whose lives are changed forever when a night-time car accident in the Hollywood Hills ends with a woman dead - and Ellie and Jimmy both wounded by what appears to be a large wolf.  As Jimmy researches werewolf mythology, he and Ellie both start displaying symptoms that include heightened awareness, strength, and physical attractiveness, as something continues to stalk the siblings even as another night of the full moon arrives.  Living up to its name, Cursed was supposedly beset with re-shoots and both major script and cast changes, and the film shows it; disjointed, slow-moving, bland, and unfunny when its shooting for laughs, this was a misfire that - sadly - never gets off the ground. (rated PG-13)  C-