SHARKNADO 5: GLOBAL SWARMING

(2017) Am unsure of what's most astounding: how these films get worse and worse with each installment, or why the heck I still watch them.  For those unfamiliar, a "sharknado" is literally an oversized, evil tornado that's sucked up a sh*tload of sharks into its vortex before flinging them out again, one at a time, onto an unsuspecting populace - often conservative, Botox-filled grade-Z "celebrities" (hmm, perhaps that's the reason I keep tuning in).  "Beverly Hills 90210" alum Ian Ziering is back again for installment five as Fin (swear to God) Shepard, this time globetrotting around the world as the various sharknados take things global.  Sydney, Australia and London, England alone should sue the filmmakers for what this film does with/to their cities, but whereas early series entries had a sense of humor about themselves - actors practically winking at the camera to show you they get how bad this material is, especially in the first film (which remains the best in the series, for whatever that's worth) - now the filmmakers and writers aren't even trying, Sharknado 5 leaping so far into the ridiculous it's actually painful to sit through.  Already at work on number six, this seems the series that will never end; so much so, were there ever really a sharknado touching down within a fifty mile radius of me, I'd rush to embrace it with open arms. (rated TV-14)  2/10 stars