SUICIDE SQUAD (EXTENDED CUT)

(2016) When a film gets as much marketing, over-hype and exposure as Suicide Squad did in the months - not weeks, but months - prior to release, it's usually a good sign the film may not be that great.  Which is why (along with the casting of Jared Leto, which I felt - along with the film's entire concept of Joker - stank) I didn't rush to see it.  The Extended Cut is only 11 minutes longer, purportedly giving Joker a better back-story for his actions than the theatrical release, but the film still suffers from a lack of focus - and sorry, but yeah Leto was just an awful, awful casting choice.  Worse choice still: relegating Joker to a minor character that feels like he's only inserted into the film to upgrade audience interest.  Boo.  Beyond that, the film's plot is a cinch: Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) is tasked with heading a secret government organization to fight crime, and her brilliant idea is to do so by creating a team made up of some of the biggest criminally-insane loons to ever be incarcerated; a "suicide squad" if you will, to send into the heart of the fray, because if they're all killed trying to defeat the even nastier bad guys who the heck will care?  Things don't go as planned (do they ever?), but in the meantime there are some good laughs and dark humor, mostly via Will Smith as Deadshot and a particularly giddy Margot Robbie, who channels Harley Quinn to perfection.  The film itself, though, is strictly standard in plot and execution, offering nothing knew while meandering all over the place.  Oh yeah, and the subplot of Joker trying to break Harley out and/or rescuing her from the team is, in the end, a fairly big yawn.  The finale is pretty cool, once we get there, but overall what seems like it could have been so much more never quite makes it there.  (PG-13) 6.5/10 stars

MISS PEREGRINE'S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN

(2016) Another case of "got the book, but saw the film first," Miss Peregrine's starts off with Florida teen Jake (Asa Butterfield) rushing to the home of his grandfather Abe (Terence Stamp), who suffers from dementia and claims to be under attack in his home.  Arriving in time only to find his grandfather in the woods out behind the house, eyes missing and a cryptic whisper his only goodbye before dying, after a period of mourning Jake's therapist advises a trip to Wales - the sight of many of Abe's wild, lifelong stories that have affected Jake as a teen - and instead of finding peace in the fact his grandfather was simply a mentally-ill old man, Jake discovers an alternate world where the beautiful, shape-shifting Miss Peregrine (the oh-SO-consistently-underrated Eva Green) cares for and protects a houseful of children with very different talents or oddities, in a world where time is frozen to the span of one day ... and enemies who are out to get the children are each day growing closer.  With Tim Burton directing the film is both charmingly quirky and super-gorgeous to look at, the various abilities of the kids showcased beautifully with a talented young cast (this is, perhaps, also the 3,899th film Samuel L.Jackson has been in lately) - but Asa Butterfield has always left me cold on-screen, I've never found him particularly believable or likable an actor, and to me his presence here is the one "chilly" element of the entire film.  There is a lot going for Miss Peregrine and her kids, I just wish it - like Jake - had engaged me emotionally just a tad more.  (rated PG-13) 8/10 stars

THE WITCH

(2015) Set in 1630's New England, The Witch opens with the devoutly-Christian family of William and Katherine and their four children (Katherine pregnant with the fifth) being excommunicated from their community, evidently through some conflict with the church's Puritan beliefs.  Finding their own plot of land near a large, dense patch of woods, the family builds a home and life, Katherine giving birth to her third son ... but when the infant goes missing while in the care of eldest daughter Thomasin (an impressive Anya Taylor-Joy), the viewer is "treated" to a glimpse of the very dark presence living in the neighboring woods, and why the baby was taken.  This incident sparks a turn of very bad luck for the family, including failing crops and suspicion of Thomasin being possessed or practicing witchery ... and in fact by far the film's greatest strength is the intense, foreboding paranoia of those times regarding demonic possession and witchcraft.  The film feels 100% authentic, the 17th-century language and costumes ... the film's stark, colorless wilderness as the family begins to unravel/turn against each other building up tension in a slow-burn way that may not appeal to modern-day horror film fans who like their movies fast-paced and loaded with blood.  As the presence in the woods gets closer the film just got creepier and creepier, right up to about the last fifteen minutes that - to me - would make any person of faith squirm openly in his or her seat.  Not for everyone, but I love horror movies that mess with my head over trying to gross me out any day, so was able to buy into The Witch the whole way.  (rated R)  9/10 stars

ARRIVAL

(2016) Twelve oblong disks, appearing to stand on end, have appeared over various cites of the world.  The aliens have arrived, but as time goes on there seems to be no move on their part to contact us.  Are they safe, or preparing to annihilate us?  As paranoia sweeps the world, many countries starting to develop the "let's get them before they get us" attitude, top linguist Louise Banks (Amy Adams) is hand-picked as part of an elite team sent to where the spacecraft hovers a site in Wyoming, determined to communicate with them.  As Banks, fellow scientist Ian Donnelly (Jeremy Renner), and their team try to develop/figure out what turns out to definitely be alien speech patterns (and what they're tying to tell us), the world teeters on the brink of war as itchy trigger fingers prepare to strike the first punch.  Arrival is a well-made, well-cast film with an intriguing and philosophical heart, but for me it was too long, too heady, and too intellectualized to arouse enough passion in me for the story or characters - or to care that much about what is supposed to be the otherwise OMG! ending.  (rated PG-13) 6/10 stars

FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM

(2016) Seventy years before Harry Potter would read the seminal work of Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne), the young British wizard arrives as a young man at Ellis Island in New York City, bearing a small suitcase chock-full of creatures he is transporting quite illegally within the wizarding community and into the States.  When one breaks loose, Newt's endeavors to recapture it has him crossing paths with a No-Maj (non-magical human - what they call Muggles in the UK), baker Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler), who accidentally walks off with Newt's case instead of his own, setting both Scamander and a demoted Auror named Tina, out to arrest Newt for being an unregistered wizard, on a quest to keep the creatures in check - even as darker forces are at work that could not only bring down the wizarding community, but start them off on a war with humans.  I was worried there would be way too much CGI in this film to appeal to me - and there is a lot, obviously - but I still found myself very much charmed with the story, characters, look of the film, and Redmayne's turn as Newt (though granted, Redmayne is starting to perfect the introverted, jerky looking-away nervous thing so well, he's repeating the tic in his films).  The cast is terrific, effects more than believable enough to pull you in, and for me there was never a dull minute, the film providing some very cool eye candy while building up suspense to a satisfying finale.  (rated PG-13) 8.5/10 stars

LA LA LAND

(2016) Mia (Emma Stone) is a struggling actress in Los Angeles who works as a barista in a coffee shop on the Warner Brothers lot by day, and hates jazz music.  Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) is a jazz musician playing crap jobs while pursuing his own dream of opening an old-school jazz club.  After a chance encounter or two - the first of which is when they flip each other off from their cars in the middle of a traffic jam - the two find a mutual attraction and Mia learns to both love jazz ... and maybe even Sebastian, who in turn can't deny the instant spark between them.  But can a blooming love affair co-exist with the pursuit of personal growth; of pursuing your own dreams?  La La Land is nothing short of miraculous; one of the best love stories every put onto the screen, blooming before your eyes in the bright Technicolor lights and Cinemascopic vision of a big budget 1950's classic Hollywood musical (indeed, if you hate such old-style musicals, you will probably be the biggest detractor of this film - which is a shame, because you're also missing one of the best movie stories in recent years).  Stone and Gosling are perfection in their respective roles, and the film itself will make you laugh and cry, as well as both break and mend your heart.  I am trying very hard to not give away a single spoiler for this remarkable, beautiful film, but suffice to say I was all over the emotional map for the 133-minute runtime, and more than a week later the film still swirls around in my head.  So to best sum up my review in three words:  GO SEE IT.  You'll be hearing all over God's creation about it at Oscar time, anyway.  (rated PG-13) 9.5/10 stars

SHAUN OF THE DEAD

(2004) For over a dozen years I've heard friends, family and strangers sing the praises of this seminal zombie-comedy mix; a classic of the genre that created its own genre.  Simon Pegg, in his breakout role, plays slacker dude Shaun, a guy not having a good day after being dumped by his girlfriend.  He commands no respect from his stepfather, even less from his retail coworkers, and is being besotted upon by his roommate Pete (Peter Serafinowicz), over what you can't quite tell is the third roommate or just Shaun's incredibly slovenly, video game and booze addicted childhood buddy Ed (Nick Frost), who wants to keep Shaun to his single, pub-crawling, game-playing ways.  But Shaun, the night after the breakup, wakes up determined to change his life; to win his girlfriend back, go visit his mom on her birthday, and try to be a better man ... just as the zombie apocalypse breaks out in London.  Picture a slacker comedy as directed by George Romero - I guess, because for me Shaun of the Dead just wasn't particularly funny.  Maybe from years of hearing so much about the film it's just been played up too big in my head, but my overwhelming feeling watching the film was annoyance; Shaun and Ed's being too damn clueless to realize they're dealing with the walking dead for the longest time, sure, but what I couldn't get past throughout the entire watch was my overwhelming desire to reach through the screen and kill Nick Frost's character myself (Ed just ratcheted my nerves like no movie character has in recent memory).  To me the film just felt like a younger-generation version of Pegg's film The World's End, and (again: for me) didn't work too well as either a comedy or a zombie thriller.  (rated R)  5/10 stars

DEEPWATER HORIZON

(2016) In 2010 when the BP oil spill happened, polluting the Gulf of Mexico with the worst oil spill in American history, I was working as a fundraiser, including envrionmental causes, and the heinous crime of the BP spill was part of my "pitch" in trying to get people to give.  Mark Wahlberg stars in this film dramatization of the offshore drilling rig's destruction, and as a guy old enough to remember the "disaster movie" craze started by Irwin Allen in the 1970's, to me Deepwater Horizon felt very much like one of those films ... yet, somehow, without characters that ever fully came to life for me.  The effects and story and subsequent rescue of those still trapped on the rig are well-done and enthralling, however, still earning a higher rating from me; director Peter Berg handles the drama and the mechanics of the film wonderfully, building up tension and keeping things tight.  Mark Wahlberg turns in his usual solid performance, essentially playing Mark Wahlberg but creating empathy as Mike Williams, a man determined to survive to see his wife and young daughter again.  The oil company guys, led by John Malkovich, are as greedy and slimy as I'm sure their real-life counterparts are (how these men got off without even manslaughter charges for those who died in the disaster is beyond me) - stock characters, really - but its Gina Rodriguez as Andrea who really carried the heart of the film for me; I wish, in fact, they'd devoted more time to developing her character and story, it would have made for a richer film.  Deepwater Horizon is a serviceable, well-made disaster film that will keep you intensely interested throughout, even if it's heart does feel a little bit hollow.  (rated PG-13)  7/10 stars

DIRTY GRANDPA (unrated)

(2016) Jason Kelly (Zac Efron) is a young, straitlaced corporate attorney working at his father's firm.  His life is stable, and he's about to marry a beautiful, wealthy girl from a good family, Meredith (Julianne Hough).  When his grandmother passes away, it's Jason who is tasked with driving his newly-widowed grandpa, Dick Kelly (Robert De Niro) down to Florida, due to Grandpa's driver license being suspended, just a week before he and Meredith are supposed to marry; it seems Grandpa and Jason were really close once upon a time, the older man's youthful spirit and energy keeping up with his grandson easily, but it was Jason who - as he got into college and his dad's business - got all serious and "old".  Grandpa, it seems, also wants a bonding trip.  What Jason doesn't account for is that Grandpa Dick is completely off the rails, randier than ever - and from spring break to a pair of lovely young ladies (one with a granddaddy complex) to a raggedy male drug dealer named Pam (Jason Mantzoukas), it might just be Jason who learns more about life from the old man.  Dirty Grandpa (and I saw the unrated version, to boot) is crass, vulgar, loud, over-the-top ... and on more than a couple occasions very, very funny.  I haven't liked much of what Efron has done lately, but I really enjoyed the fearlessness and sheer lunacy of this film.  Granted, any movie that makes every effort to get Zac Efron naked as possible also gets my vote; but by the end, to me, there was something that made Dirty Grandpa a better than the average stoner comedy.  Maybe De Niro, maybe not; I just know I laughed a lot, and was kind of sorry to let the characters go when the credits started to roll.  (unrated version)  7/10 stars

SEEDS OF YESTERDAY

(2015) Having seen the three previous Lifetime-made films based on the insanely-popular V.C. Andrews's Flowers in the Attic series of novels - each movie worse than the last - I still wasn't prepared by just how bad the finale, Seeds of Yesterday, was going to be.  Chris and Cathy's children are grown now, and their middle son Bart (James Maslow, former member of boy band Big Time Rush) - who proved himself a mentally unstable kid in the previous film - has grown into a certified cuckoo.  Unfortunately, he's also inherited the over-the-top pious religious zealot complex of his great-grandfather ... as well as the Foxworth fortune, even going so far as to legally change his last name to Foxworth.  So not only is the dude bananas-on-a-homicidal-level and soon-to-be rich, he's also the only one of the kids who knows the true secret behind who their parents really are ... has to have everything his ballet star older brother has (even if that extends to the pregnant wife) ... and, though trying to deny it with every supposedly-Christian bone in his body, has the hots for his adopted sister.  Yes, it's just another day in the life of the jacked-up Dollanganger - now Sheffield - family.  Add incredibly bad acting, an insulting-to-your-intelligence script, and more melodrama than Shakespeare's entire back catalog, and except for Maslow's handsome face and extremely nice body, even sans commercials this was one loooong hour and twenty-four minutes to sit through. (TV-14)  1/10 stars

THE HATEFUL EIGHT

(2015) Quentin Tarantino's eighth film is a lengthy, snowbound western that takes its time setting up the characters and situation (a good thing) - only, of course, to turn most of said situation on its ear.  In a bitter post-Civl War Wyoming winter, bounty hunter John "The Hangman" Ruth (Kurt Russell) - so named because even though most of his catches have "dead or alive" on their Wanted poster, Ruth gets pleasure out of delivering his charges alive so he can watch them being hanged himself - is on his way with a prisoner in tow to collect his reward.  Said prisoner, Daisy Domergue (an Oscar-worthy Jennifer Jason Leigh), is pretty much the meanest woman in the state, and can both take and give a punch like a man.  Picking up a couple travelers on the way (Samuel Jackson, Walton Goggings), Ruth's long wagon ride is interrupted when the entire party must detour and take refuge at Minnie's Haberdashery, barely able to outrun an incoming blizzard.  Problem is, Minnie is nowhere to be found, supposedly having put a Mexican named Bob (Damian Bechir) in charge, and the store is filled with other shady characters (making a total of eight plus the wagon driver) - all of whom have his or her own agenda, and may or may not be who they seem.  At fifteen minutes short of three hours long, the ending feels a bit dragged out and isn't 100% satisfying, but overall the Tarantino staples of oddball characters prone to violence fits this colorful near-parody of a western - featuring a great ensemble cast that's a lot of wicked fun to watch - to a bloody, often-funny "T". (rated R)  7.5/10 stars

BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE ULTIMATE EDITION

(2016) I recently read someone else's criticism of Marvel films as "cookie cutter" and realized that was the issue I have with both Marvel and X-Men movies of late; both have become formulaic, with each film in the series feeling very much like the one before.  Batman v Superman - while messy, ungainly, imperfect and loud - definitely does not feel cookie cutter.  As the world is just adjusting to the presence of Superman (Henry Cavill), global leaders are also trying to determine whether Superman is a genuine friend to mankind; or even if he is, how can we assume he will remain so?  After a recent incident where a number of innocent people - many of them civilians - died after Superman's intervention, it appears as if the superhero might be doing more harm than good ... and none feel that more than Bruce Wayne, aka Batman (Ben Affleck), who has become convinced that Superman - like any metahuman - is the problem and not the cure.  It's in this highly combustible atmosphere that young tech genius Lex Luthor (a woefully miscast Jesse Eisenberg) decides to stir the pot while furthering his own agenda, setting the two titans against each other as he plans to take control over everything left over afterward.  I actually liked this big, clunky film much more than I expected; at just over three hours for the "Ultimate Edition" it still seems to fly by, and peeks into Wonder Woman as well as a few other film heroes to come only adds to the authenticity of the story.  The film is imperfect, CGI-heavy, and character development isn't its greatest strength - but it feels like a way-cool, non-cookie cutter roller coaster ride the entire time.  (Ultimate Edition: rated R)  7.5/10 stars

IP MAN

(2008) While its first classification might come under that of "martial arts" films, Ip Man is so much more: a dra matic biopic that feels beautifully like an epic.  Donnie Yen plays the real life grandmaster of the Wing Chun martial arts, who devoted his life to studying Wing Chun but himself was a pleasant and humble man of money, who lived in peace with his family and was revered in his village of Fo Shan in 1938.  But the forthcoming war and Japanese invasion of China would see Fo Shan leveled, many of its inhabitants killed or driven off, with Ip Man himself tossed from his home and forced to live hand-to-mouth, eventually taking a labor job to try and keep his wife and son fed.  But as the humiliations toward Ip Man and his fellow villagers pile up, the grandmaster can no longer remain passive, and must fight for the one thing he believes in most - the people he loves.  This is no ordinary martial arts film, it's the journey of an incredible man who combined martial arts and his spirituality, creating a driving force that would bring him dozens of students throughout his lifetime ... none less than the modern-day master himself, Bruce Lee.  Ip Man is, simply, nothing short of terrific; certainly a classic of its genre.  (rated R)  9/10 stars

GERONTOPHILIA

(2013) Lake (Pier-Gabriel Lajoie) is a handsome young French-Canadian guy with a girlfriend named Desiree and a mother who drinks a little too much.  He also has a penchant for drawing, but when his mother gets him a job as an aide in a nursing home that's just hired her, Lake also finds another passion that takes him off-guard: a sexual attraction not just for men, but for much, much older men.  After meeting the elderly Mr. Peabody, who regales Lake with his stories and ends up charming the boy without even trying, Lake plans to help the old man break out of the home when he learns the staff there use psychotropic drugs to keep their charges in check.  With Bruce La Bruce directing/writing, I expected a lot more softcore porn/erotica, but was pleasantly surprised when it seemed the filmmaker was attempting to take the high road here.  Still, a so-so script and average acting don't bring this much above what you'd expect for a low-budget indie, made by a director who still could have - definitely should have - tried for something a bit deeper, given the subject matter.  (unrated) 5/10 stars

THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS

(2016) A talented voice cast, well-developed characters, and beautiful animation (truly, New York City looks amazing here) from Illumination Entertainment (aka Minion-land) make The Secret Life of Pets both incredible to look at and genuinely funny in the telling.  Max (Louis C.K.) is a terrier living the high life with his single female owner in a Manhattan apartment; every day when she and other pet owners in his and neighboring buildings leave for work, Max and his various friends carry on with their own day - whether it be running the house their way, partying, or just hanging out before waiting for their owners to come home again.  But when Max's human suddenly comes home one evening with a stray dog - the huge, shaggy, bear-like Duke (Eric Stonestreet), Max sees green and plots a way to get rid of the big guy ... which backfires, thrusting Max and Duke lost and alone in New York, far from home and at the mercy of a street gang of animals out for revenge, led by the sociopathic - yet oh-so cuddly and adorable! - white psycho-bunny, Snowball (Kevin Hart).  Illumination really hits most of the marks with this one, each of the animal characters coming off with distinct and likable personalities, and the humor is terrific; I caught myself laughing out loud through the second half of the film, especially.  Wonderful, hilarious film that may make you wonder what really goes on at home when you leave your own dog, cat or even parakeet alone for the day.  (rated PG)  8/10 stars